Episode 5
I rung the bell and waited trying to brighten
up my face for the benefit of my hypertensive mother. I resolved that I would
have to find an intelligent way of telling her that her daughters life had just
come to a standstill .The door opened and there was my mother ,the pillar of my strength.A look at
her made me feel like giving away and melting into her supportive arms .But I
held fort and decided to take it one at a time .But a mom is a mom ! In minutes
I saw her asking me various questions probing the cause of the paleness in my
face.”Is everything okay? what took you so long ?Is Pranav back from Delhi ?”came
the steady flow of queries .All Moms I believe have the potential for an
alternative career option ,as a secret service agent! My sudden sense of humour
calmed me a little and I spoke to mom with a smile telling her that I was
meeting an old friend .Not that she was convinced ,but it stopped the
interrogation from getting any further.
However much I could have done without dinner
,I did not have the strength to fight back the next series of questions that
would follow .So I sat soberly and gnawed at the food carrying on a general dinner
time conversation .Nothing made sense to me though .I sat there almost brain
dead. Faking a loud yawn, I told mom that it had been a long tiring day and
excused myself, before retiring to the privacy of my own room.
Finally I was all by myself .It was a lonely
feeling .The room felt gloomy and dark. I felt as if I was the one woman army
left to combat a huge enemy situation .I did not know if it was the loss of
love in my life that hurt me so badly or the failure in commissioning the
marriage .I had met Pranav just 6 months back after all ! Before I could assess
my love ,the two families met and decided to tie us in a nuptial chord .Did I
finally learn to love him ? Or is it only the big fat Indian wedding that
caught my fancy .I felt cruel about being judgemental about all of this now .It
didn’t matter whether there was love or not, it was now the matter of a human
life around me that was facing a great challenge .A life that was warring with
death.
I had a bigger responsibility of laying this horrible piece
of news in front of my mom .The very thought of her reaction, made me shudder .I
lay on my bed staring blankly at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to vacumn my
web of thoughts . But I was far from anything remotely close to sleep .I tossed
and turned and eventually my mind lost the battle and gave into my tired body ,slipping
into a heavy slumber.
Given a choice , I wanted to report in as
unwell to office and take a day off .But that would trigger off the wrong
signals to my mother .So I started the morning as usual .Thankfully ,mom had
not asked any more questions .So she had not excercised her mind unnecessarily
over my battered look last night ,I assumed I had done a good job at
camouflaging the situation after all. Last night, she would have slept
peacefully . Fear wrenched my stomach and my mind went back to the thought of
how to break the news to her .I decided to buy myself another day to mull over
this problem and come back with a concrete solution by evening .All the very
best I told myself , as I picked up my bag and headed off, to start another day
of my life .A life full of uncertainities . A life knotted in some very
complicated unanswered questions .
Life is like a stage and we are all the
characters in a piece, directed by the almighty himself, I resolved….and right
now I was in the role of a tragedy queen ! I smirked.
In office it was business as usual .The world
around, remained oblivious to me and my problems .With such a huge issue tucked
behind my restless head, I ironically sat resolving those of others. The busy
day had almost made me forget everything, until the phone rang in reminder .The
screen flashed an unidentified number. I took the call .It was Rajeev’s voice
on the other side .”Hi Megha “, he said “how are you this morning ?”. I didn’t
know a better answer than to simply say “I am good, thank you” . ”Megha” he
said once again ”Pranav was admitted to an ICU last evening as we spoke” , "was
there any more to this ",I said ,under my breath , "He is under the treatment
of some very senior doctors at Apollo Hospitals , Delhi” he continued. “His parents are
shattered and they told me they had no words to say to you and dreaded facing
you .But they would be calling you and your mom sometime during the day , all
the same.” We carried on the conversation for some more time before I hung up .It
felt as if my heart was being kneaded with these feelings .I felt nauseated. Things
were now getting out of my control ,they were slipping away like sand held
between careless fingers .I had to take an early day off and get back home, to
take my mom through this huge big problem that had eclipsed the life of her
princess ,as she called me fondly at times. I had to tell her before she received
the call from the Banerjee’s from Delhi. I was again found racing against time .I
should have told her last night itself ,I thought to myself .After all which of
us could control their fate .It was unforeseen ,it was destiny and never the
fault of any of us .
In minutes I cleared my desk (wishing it
could be as easy, to clear my mind ) and found myself standing infront of my
boss ,requesting her for an early day off. Much to my surprise ,the boss seemed
to be either in one of her particularly good moods or sensitized with the
colour drawn out from my face and was more than happy to oblige. Before leaving
the office, I went to the canteen and got myself a cup of expresso .I
mechanically took out a pen and paper and having rested my face on my hands ,I unmindfully started jotting down a list of reactions from mom .Finally I was ready to leave
and face mom while delivering this news to her.
On my way out ,I bumped into various
colleagues ,puffing their lungs out .They all expressed concern on seing me
leave at this odd hour. I replied back with confidence….”All izz well”,
inspiration drawn from the blockbuster bollywood flick ‘Three Idiots’. Feeling
like the fourth idiot, I fumbled a bye to them and stepped into the midday sun.
I don’t remember having ever left the bank at this hour .The streets looked
strange ,people around me looked unusually busy running errands .The street
vendors also looked like far too many, from what I could remember in the late
evenings, my usual time of departure .Well it was lunch time and that explained
it all.
I crossed over to the parking space and got
into the car .This car was now as comfortable as a second home to me .So I
settled in and set off for home ,tuning in to my favourite radio station .The
voice of the radio jockey was as soothing as an old friend rattling on and soon
fading as the next song on the chart started.Was this a coincidence because,
the next song, was a tragic one speaking of lost love. As I manoeuvred through the traffic ,I quickly changed
the station and wailed to myself, “someone please tell me that this ai’nt
happening for real and it was just a bad dream that I could wake out of!!!” No
reply !!!!
A face on my window at the next signal drew
my attention .It was an elderly lady begging to me and saying that if I be kind
to her, God will bless me with a good husband and healthy children will follow.
Now what? Was the whole world out on the street with adequate amount of salt to
rub into my injuries .The signal changed rapidly and I drove with utmost
urgency to reach the sanctity of my nest.
...........(To be continued.......)
Watch out for more !!!
Watch out for more !!!
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